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From CrossFit to coding

The CrossFit Open 2018 began two weeks ago: an annual competition that pits the fittest on earth against each other, with five gruelling workouts released every Thursday for five weeks. Last year, I finished 4577th in the UK, 20072nd in Europe, and 99654th worldwide. This year, however, I’m trading in workouts for workflows.
I began the Mayden Academy software development course four weeks ago. Before that, I was the lead coach in a team of twelve physical trainers. We would exercise together on a daily basis, pushing each other to our physical limits.
When I told my team I would be moving on, trading in the squat rack for an office chair, they were understanding and supportive. I wouldn’t have blamed them for quietly worrying about my aspirations – that is, thinking that I’m a bit of a ‹div› for believing that I can actually learn software development in 16 weeks…!
James is going to give tech a .bash
now that he’s a parent, with small children;
There’ll be no more sprinting for this git;
just plenty of padding round his content.
He’ll probably tag along as a navigator,
clutching at his spare tyre;
about as responsive as a rubber duck.
S’pose every waist line has its break point,
when your hips span outside their container.
He’ll no doubt float around with the remote;
his git overflowing his belt;
which would certainly risk a separation of concern!

What my CrossFit chums don’t understand, however, is that coding is bloody hard work. After just twenty days, I’ve got severe DOMs (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness) and I live in constant fear of PWAs (Pirates with Attitude). Not to mention, my hands are riddled with Repetitive Strain Injury.
Alas, for the five weeks of this CrossFit Open 2018, I will be concentrating my efforts on software development. What will be my ‘definition of done’? Probably staying agile enough to tackle stand-ups, scrums and sprints.